The second half of Chapter 5 in What Matters Most moves from understanding governing values to the practical work of identifying, clarifying, prioritizing, and owning them. This is the heart of the process: surfacing what truly matters most and bringing it into conscious awareness so it can guide daily choices.
Smith begins with a straightforward invitation: set aside time to list governing values. Start with simple one- or two-word statements capturing anything important—people, activities, places, feelings, principles, or experiences. The goal at this stage is quantity over perfection; capture everything that feels genuinely owned rather than borrowed or socially expected. Refinement comes later.
For many, the exercise feels daunting because governing values often reside below the surface of everyday awareness. When words do not come easily, Smith recommends the “Why Drill”—a childlike but powerful tool of repeatedly asking “Why?” after naming a value. This probing uncovers deeper motivations, reveals hidden connections between seemingly separate values, and exposes whether a value is authentically personal or inherited from others. Keep drilling until the real reason emerges, noting the emotions that arise along the way. Some answers may be “just because,” signaling bedrock values that need no further justification.
Through this honest introspection, the initial list naturally condenses. Some items lose importance upon examination; others rise in significance. The result is a compact set of core governing values—those worthy of time, energy, and resources.
The next step is to write clarifying statements for each value on the final list. These can take the form of descriptions, affirmations, explanations of importance, or motivational notes—whatever format feels most meaningful and clear. The purpose is twofold: to prevent future ambiguity and to spark ideas for long-range goals that bring value to life.
With clarity established, prioritization becomes essential. Smith introduces the “I-beam story” (a vivid mental image of walking a narrow beam high above a drop, choosing what one would risk everything to protect) as a dramatic way to test relative importance. Ask: “What would I cross the I-beam for?” Often, only two or three values rise to the top as non-negotiable. Ranking the full list in advance prevents confusion in high-stakes moments when competing demands arise. Without clear priorities, decisions risk slipping into rationalizing that “the end justifies the means”—a trap that erodes inner peace.
Prioritizing also brings less desirable values into view. Admitting their presence allows direct examination: Why is this here? Is it serving or sabotaging? Conscious choice becomes possible—values can be modified, reinterpreted, demoted, elevated, added, or eliminated entirely. This agency is uniquely human and profoundly liberating. Identifying and owning governing values frees individuals from pretense or comparison, opening space to live authentically as oneself.
The process is dynamic and ongoing. Values evolve with life experience, requiring periodic revisiting. Yet the act of clarifying them brings immediate power: awareness of what drives behavior, the ability to course-correct when pain signals misalignment, and the confidence that comes from deciding in advance what matters most.
Questions for Reflection
1. When you began listing potential governing values, which ones came to mind most quickly—and which felt harder to name or surprisingly emotional?
2. Did the “Why Drill” reveal any surprises for you? For example, did a value you thought was important turn out to be less central, or did a seemingly minor one prove deeper than expected?
3. Looking at your current short list of governing values (even if rough), which two or three feel like the ones you would “cross the I-beam for”? How does that ranking align (or conflict) with how you currently spend your time and energy?
4. Have you identified any governing value you would like to change, reduce in priority, or redefine? What small step could you take toward that shift?
Please share your thoughts in the comments below. In the next entry, we’ll be discussing Chapter 6 (pg. 106-116) and learn how to craft a personal mission statement.
