Chapter 4 of What Matters Most marks the beginning of the practical work in Part Two. The focus is on identifying the roles that shape daily life—the relationships and responsibilities that connect individuals to others and to the broader world. Roles are not lived in isolation; they arise from the fundamental human need to belong and to contribute.
Smith outlines four automatic “memberships” granted at birth:
- Membership in Planet Earth, where every person plays a part in maintaining the delicate balance that sustains life.
- Membership in the Human Race, carrying roles rooted in mutual respect, cooperation, and the diverse contributions each individual can offer.
- Membership in a Family, which typically includes roles such as son or daughter, brother or sister, aunt or uncle, and similar relational positions.
- Membership in Communities—neighborhood, workplace, city, region, state, or nation—each bringing its own set of expectations and opportunities to serve.
Beyond these universal memberships, every person brings a unique combination of personality, genetic traits, life experiences, and circumstances. This uniqueness is expressed and extended outward primarily through the roles one fills. Understanding and honoring that individuality is a critical step toward discovering personal identity and what truly matters most.
The chapter guides readers through a hands-on exercise:
1. Write down as many roles as possible. Include both current roles and those one aspires to fill someday. Consider “have-to” roles as well as voluntary or desired ones, no matter how specialized or unconventional they may seem. The list should reflect authentic identity rather than external expectations.
2. Consolidate the list to seven or eight major roles. This narrower focus makes planning and daily application more manageable.
3. Evaluate each role critically. Some perceived obligations may not be truly mandatory; others can be modified or released if they conflict with inner values.
4. Pay special attention to roles that feel uniquely personal—those tied closely to individual strengths, passions, or circumstances. These often lie near the center of identity and hold the greatest potential for meaningful contribution.
5. Rank the major roles in order of current importance. Priorities may shift over time or even day to day, but establishing a baseline provides clarity for future planning and decision-making.
Once roles are identified and prioritized, the next layer of reflection involves honest self-assessment: How well are these roles being fulfilled? In which roles does performance feel strong, satisfying, or even exceptional? What factors contribute to success in those areas—specific actions, personal strengths, the resulting feelings, or a combination? Conversely, which roles feel neglected or unfulfilling? These observations reveal important insights about governing values—the subject of the next chapter we’ll be covering.
The chapter closes with a Scottish proverb that captures the essence of the work:
“What e’er thou art—whatever you hope to be—act well thy part.”
Fulfilling roles intentionally, in alignment with personal uniqueness and priorities, becomes the foundation for living a life of greater purpose and congruence.
Questions for Reflection
1. What are the first five to ten roles that come to mind when you think about your current life? Which feel most automatic, and which feel most chosen?
2. After listing and consolidating your roles to seven or eight, which ones stand out as especially tied to your sense of uniqueness or personal strengths?
3. In which of your major roles do you feel you are currently performing well, and what makes that performance satisfying? In which do you sense the greatest gap between aspiration and reality?
4. Looking at your ranked list of roles, does the current order of priority match how you would like your time and energy to be allocated? If not, what small adjustment might bring greater alignment?
Please share your thoughts in the comments below. In the next entry we’ll be covering pages 82-91, stopping at the header “Identifying Your Own Governing Values”, and discussing “What Are Governing Values?”.
