Born To Standout: Ben Kjar’s Journey of Courage, Discipline and Purpose

In this episode of the Franklin Planner Podcast, hosts George Wright III and John Harding welcome special guest Ben Kjar. Ben, an American wrestler, international speaker, real estate investor, and motivational figure, shares his remarkable life story of overcoming Crouzon syndrome to become a NCAA Division One Wrestling All American and a world champion wrestler. Ben discusses the principles and daily rituals that have guided his success, emphasizing the importance of setting clear goals, involving supportive people, and maintaining a rigorous daily routine. The conversation also delves into Ben’s upcoming movie ‘Standout’, which documents his journey and aims to inspire others to realize their potential and overcome obstacles. The film, releasing on January 23rd, aims to reach a wide audience to spread its powerful message. Ben’s story and advice offer valuable insights for anyone looking to lead a successful and fulfilling life.

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Episode Timeline

00:00 Introduction and Guest Welcome

00:44 Ben Kjar’s Early Life and Challenges

01:44 Overcoming Obstacles and Achieving Success

04:52 The Power of Setting Goals

07:31 Support Systems and Accountability

18:40 Daily Rituals for Success

19:31 Morning Routine and Workout Priorities

21:07 The Crown Code: A Way of Living

22:23 Principles and Goals: A Personal Story

24:01 Overcoming Adversity: Wrestling Journey

30:59 The Impact of the Movie ‘Stand Out’

36:25 Final Thoughts and Call to Action

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Episode Transcript

Welcoming Ben Kjar – Wrestler, Speaker, Real Estate Investor & Star of Standout

George Wright III: Welcome back to the Franklin Planner Podcast. My name’s George Wright III. Here with my co-host John Harding and a special guest, Ben Kjar, welcome to the studio.

Ben Kjar: Appreciate it. Glad to be here. 

George Wright III: We are, we are really [00:01:00] excited today, and I wanna make sure that our guests have a bit of an introduction for you because I think they’re gonna be hearing and seeing your name all over the place, and so we’ll do that and kind of get into it. But for those of you that don’t know Ben, so Ben Kjar’s an American wrestler, an international speaker, real estate investor and motivational figure, is known for overcoming significant early life challenges, which we’re gonna talk about.

Utah Valley University, first NCAA Division One wrestling All American. Flipped almost 200 real estate properties, international speaker, married to LaCol, and, uh, three adopted children, right? So that’s probably your highlight. And, uh, the subject of this new movie, Standout, is something we’re gonna hit as well, which is gonna be hitting the theaters January 23rd.

So we’re excited about that as well. So thank you so much for taking time to be here. 

Ben Kjar: Honored to be here with you guys.

George Wright III: And we’ve got a lot of stuff and we talked ahead of time before this podcast about some really, really cool topics we’re gonna dig into. Huh?

John Harding: And the Ben Kjar story is an unbelievable story. Leading your [00:02:00] life, all kinds of things we’re gonna get into. So– 

Ben Kjar’s Early Life: Born with Crouzon Syndrome and Choosing to Stand Out

Doctors Said He’d Never Do Contact Sports – He Became A World Champion

George Wright III: Maybe we start with that. Why don’t you give us, just give us your background and the kind of story that led up to this. 

Ben Kjar: Oh man. If you know what, I was born with something called Crouzon syndrome. It’s a facial difference. And doctors at a young age would say, Hey, to my parents, your boy’s gonna live a different life. And with no way to live an ordinary life, I had the opportunity to live an extraordinary one or not. So, um, doctors would tell me I would never do contact sports. And I learned real early on to say, oh yeah, watch me. And I did. I went on to be a wrestler and, and went on to become a world champion. And so the story is about not just that, it’s not just a wrestling film.

If you could think of the movie, Wonder, the kid with the facial difference with, uh, Julia Roberts and, and like, fantastic people in the film, but it wasn’t about a real story. And then if you marry that [00:03:00] with the movie Rocky, about the underdog guy who kind of talked kind of like me, so Mister Stallone. 

John Harding: Yeah. You even sound better. 

George Wright III: Same story. Right? 

Ben Kjar: I appreciate it. 

John Harding: We can understand. 

Ben Kjar: Yeah, there you go. I appreciate it. But I, Rocky Stallion, the Utah Stallion. Then if you married those two, but actually had it be a real story, that’s exactly what the movie Standout’s about.

George Wright III: Did you ever think you’d be doing something like this, by the way?

Ben Kjar: Never. 

George Wright III: I mean, not even in your, not even in your dreams, right? 

Ben Kjar: I had been approached before, um, to do some stuff. I never knew that, uh, the iconic TC Christensen, Tanner, his boy, and then Jared Hess, who has done one of the most enormous films ever The Minecraft Movie this year, Napoleon Dynamite, Nacho Libre, would, would be open to telling my story. It’s just so humbling. 

The Pivotal Moment: Mom’s Message “You Are Born to Stand Out”

George Wright III: So you just had a real, uh, you know, all kinds of stuff we can get into, but a real challenging [00:04:00] childhood, but you chose to lead your life.

Ben Kjar: Yeah, I had other people help me do all of that. My parents were such a gift. God just like delivered them to me on a golden platter almost. And when I thought I couldn’t do it, there’s a moment in the film where I just get annihilated by an adult in a grocery store and I go home just, just torn up.

And I literally try to figure out a way to take my face off as a young boy, and my mom breaks in the bathroom when I’m about to go through this experience and she cries with me. My mom is a woman that doesn’t coddle. She’s a cuddler. She’s not a coddler, she’s a cuddler. And she loves deep. And she stood me up in the moment I needed it most. And she said, Ben, look in the mirror. And she says, Ben, I see somebody who’s different, who’s born to make a difference, [00:05:00] and you, my friend, are born to stand out. That’s what would change my life. Those, those messages of reassurance, of confidence and of meaning that would allow those, those same principles to be in my life.

George Wright III:You’re born to stand out. That’s amazing. Yeah. 

How Wrestling Gave Control: Disobeying Average and Building Mental Strength

John Harding: Let me ask you this and help us just keep going and unpack this story, but as I think about what you just said and where, where you’ve like performed at the highest level physically, uh, but so much of what you just talked about was inside you. How did you get into wrestling? And also tell us, you know, mentally, how you’ve gained that strength to lead your life against huge obstacles, physical and mental. Just tell us more about that if you can. 

Ben Kjar: Yeah. I got into wrestling because it allowed me to control something where life, there’s so many things in your life you can’t control, like Crouzons Syndrome, being born with something very rare.[00:06:00]  For me, I couldn’t control that. I couldn’t control going in all the surgeries and having my head cut open and a trach in my throat and my mouth wired shut, and I couldn’t control all those things. I couldn’t control how people saw me. Wrestling I could control certain things. It’s one person versus one person, and I decided that in life we’re always told to be obedient. Obedient. I decided to be disobedient to what I call average. So when my coaches were to tell me 20 pushups, 20 pushups, I chose to be disobedient to that. 

John Harding: Mm. But do more, right? 

Ben Kjar: To do more. So I chose, 

John Harding: That’s key to point that out. 

Ben Kjar: Exactly. I chose to be disobedient and not just do 20, but to do 25, 30 whenever.

And what changed? What made me change to that? I got so sick and tired of being everybody else’s version 2.0. I got so sick and tired of being Billy, Bobby, and Tommy version 2.0. [00:07:00] Finally, instead of begging and praying literally to God every day to say, God, please, I have the faith of a mustard seed. Just wake me up tomorrow morning and let me have a normal face. I prayed to be normal. I prayed to be average. I prayed to fit in, and eventually I learned that I wasn’t created to be normal. I wasn’t created to fit in. I wasn’t created to be average, and that’s when I chose. Now, that’s my pet peeve. I’m never gonna be average and I’ll never fit in. So why don’t we stand out?

And how do you do that? You do it. You stand out by doing absolutely the opposite of average. So that’s why I choose to disobey average, and as I choose that, and it’s a choice. It’s a battle every day. Things change. Things become a little bit easier. Maybe not easier, where the path is easier, but I’m stronger.

George Wright III: Yeah. Is that, so you made the choice wrestling for the reason to be able to take some control of some things 

Ben Kjar: A hundred percent [00:08:00] 

George Wright III:and then choose to go to the next level? Ncaa, division one. All American. When you started wrestling, did you even, like, did you set goals to be the best, number one? Did that evolve? Did it evolve as your confidence evolved? What? What happened there?

Ben Kjar: A hundred percent. You know, I get in junior high, my parents come to me, they’re like, what’s your goal? We we’re gonna set goals, right? My dad was, uh, I love this fly right here. We got a, I’m gonna be like the Mr. Miyagi and just like grab it.

 What happened is my dad came to me and he said, Ben, what goals are we gonna set? And I’m like, dad, I’m gonna be the first ever in junior high. Centerville Junior High. I’m gonna be the first ever district champion three times, and while I do it, I’m gonna go undefeated. And he’s like, Ben, you’re, you’re, you’re junior varsity. I wasn’t the best guy even on my own team. 

George Wright III: Right, right, right. 

Ben Kjar: And it was interesting. I’m like, yeah, but can I still go undefeated? He’s like, you can do whatever you want. I had people in my corner encouraging me that I [00:09:00] call my shot callers. They’re the encouragers, they’re the people who hold me accountable.

And then the first thing I do is I call my shot that when you say what goals you set, I said, I called my shot. I stood up, I claimed it. I wrote it down. That’s why I absolutely love what you guys do. Franklin Planner is like, you are  allowing people to claim what’s there, date it, own it, take advantage of their future.

George Wright III: Yeah. 

Ben Kjar: That’s what I invite everyone to do, and I chose to do it. I called my shot. 

George Wright III: Wow. 

Ben Kjar: And I put my dad and my mom and my coaches in my corner, and then I set a timeline. You have to have a shot clock. And so by the end of my ninth grade year, yeah, I went from junior varsity to become undefeated, and then in high, in high school, I did it at a level I’d never thought I would do it before. My parents come to me and they’re like, Hey, we want to give you an early Christmas gift. I’m like, let’s go. My sophomore year, I, it just won my first state title and they said, you wanna put these patches on your jacket? [00:10:00] I’m like, yeah, let’s go. I’m like, put 3XSC on my right shoulder. They’re like, Ben. This is, uh, embroidered. This isn’t a dry erase marker, bro. Come on one time 

George Wright III: One time is all you get. 

Ben Kjar: It’s in permanent, it’s in it’s good, right? I put it permanent. It is. And when we can put it permanent in a, in a plan and when we get other people to notice it. When we can have people state their, claim and their dreams and to put a timeline, that’s what I love about like when you have a scheduled out on dates and times, you can schedule it.

Reverse into that, to what you are doing every minute of every day. And when you have it in front of you, like you guys allow, man, that’s what helped me achieve, uh, goals to, to being a three time state champion. I never had to take that patch off. 

George Wright III: Yeah. Yeah. 

Ben Kjar: Utah Valley University’s first ever All American, and then eventually a world champion.

George Wright III: Yeah. I think a lot of people fear putting that permanent. Right. But that was, that was awesome. Go ahead. Oh yeah, it takes guts. 

The 3-Step Goal Formula That Delivered 95% Success: Call Your Shot, Shot Callers & Timeline

John Harding: You, we talked before [00:11:00] earlier, and I think it comes out in the film. You have kind of a cycle or a formula. You started on it there. Will you teach us, walk us through this, this pattern and pathway you, you have proven for you something that just like brought this greatness out in you. There’s a leader in you. That’s a claim we make in everybody, but you know, to see it. If you’re willing, teach us that and talk to us about that. 

Ben Kjar: One hundred percent. I’ve studied some of the top businesses and icons. Sports teams in the entire world. And here’s what I found out. When they’ve done three things and do it very clear and very concise, on a consistent basis, they achieve 95% of their goals.

George Wright III:Wow. 

Ben Kjar: Now, if you were to give an investor or anybody those odds, they’d be like, I’m in. Tell me what those three things are. Here are the three things people call their shop, or companies, or groups or whatever. You call your shot and you make [00:12:00] it extremely clear. I’ll give you the example of my high school. I wrote it on my arm. I didn’t hide it. 

George Wright III:Yeah. 

Ben Kjar: 3XSC was extremely clear. Three time state champion, there’s no questioning what that means. 

George Wright III: Yeah.  

John Harding: And you did that when you were a sophomore? 

Ben Kjar: When I was a sophomore. Right. Now I wasn’t in high school as a freshman, otherwise I would’ve put 4XSC.

George Wright III: Yeah, there you go. 

Ben Kjar: So my sophomore year was my first year in high school. The second thing that you get to do if you want to achieve 95% of your goals is you get to have people in your corner called shot callers. These are people that are supporters that when you fail, ’cause we all will fail, right? They will be in your corner. I that, I got my jacket my junior year and I put it on my jacket and I lost in region. My shot collars came out of the woodwork. There were assemblies when there were lunchtimes, when there was any moment of spare [00:13:00] time. I was in the wrestling room. You know what was cool? My principal, Scott Tennis didn’t go to the assembly.

Guess where he was at? 

George Wright III: Wow. Helping you? 

Ben Kjar: He was in a wrestling room with me. Focus. Yeah. My teacher wasn’t with his class in the assembly. He was with me. Why? First of all, he knew my goal. 

George Wright III: Yeah. 

Ben Kjar: When we don’t write it down, 

George Wright III: If he didn’t know, he couldn’t be supporting you. Right? Obviously.

Ben Kjar: When we don’t write it down, we don’t tell other people. How do they show up for us? Right? But we keep it a secret, like you said, because fear of failure and fear of not being enough. And then I set a timeline. If you were to tell me you’re gonna be running a marathon in 15 months, we’re gonna set a goal out and we’re gonna get people involved at that rate of 15 months. On your shot clock, on your timeline, if you were to tell me you were running a marathon in 15 weeks. That changes. As opposed to if you’re running it in 15 days. Right. So each [00:14:00] and every step is pivotal. As people have these three things, they have the shot clock, they, they have the shot clock, they put it in, right.

Or they have the shot clock, they put a timetable on it, they have time, or they have people in their corner called shot callers, and then they call their shot. When they do those three things and they’re very specific about it, we are seeing crazy, crazy numbers go up in what they’re achieving. I’ve just had the opportunity to learn about it in my life. And what I’ve achieved has been because of the people in my life that have been in my corner. And that’s the biggest difference. 

George Wright III: when I hope if you’re listening to this, you really took note. Because I think a lot of times people will hear things like that. Call your shot, get your shot, you know, uh, your support, your shot caller. Yes. And then your timelines. And they, they think, oh, I got that down. But they didn’t publicly put it out there. They just think they have supporters. And so I see that intricacy that you have. So the [00:15:00] success is always in the, there’s clues, right? 

Ben Kjar: Yes. 

George Wright III: And, and what you just said was critical because I think a lot of people, they think they kind of put the goals out there, they write ’em down, they don’t, they maybe have some supporters, but they haven’t really put it out there. And the deadlines, and this goes back to, you know, Franklin Planner 101, right? Figure out what matters most. You know, make, put some timelines daily towards it. So I really love that.

Ben Kjar: Well, there’s nothing better than Franklin. Like here’s the thing, how often you guys have been around for how long, right?

John Harding:40. 

George Wright III: 40 years. 

Ben Kjar: 40 years, yeah. And it’s just like an iconic staple. I encourage all of you guys to get your planners out, write down your goal, which we often do, but make it so clear that there’s no mincing words. Like there’s no question of what that is. Set the timeline. 

George Wright III: Yeah. 

Ben Kjar: The planner already has the timeline. When you place it on those dates, it tells you, here’s what we don’t do. In your planner, open it up and put [00:16:00] on the side who your shot callers are, and then during those dates– 

John Harding: And these are your great support, right? Your champions. Yes. People, you know, they’re, they’re not… your guys were not the men and women, the, they were not like professional motivational speakers or athletes themselves, right? They were people around you. And I think as people listen to this, your story is so amazing. Who were they? Like, just give us examples. 

Ben Kjar: I’ll tell you who were they, who they weren’t. 

George Wright III: Oh, that’s good. 

Ben Kjar: And then I’ll tell you.

John Harding: Yeah, that’s good. 

Ben Kjar: Who were they not and who are they? The people that drove me Nuts. Nuts. Pet peeve are the ones that were willing to sit in the fan like. We’re willing to sit in the audience and just cheer with their popcorn in hand. I don’t need those people. 

George Wright III: Yeah. 

Ben Kjar: Here’s why: they’re not willing to do it with me. I’ll give you an example. My coach would be up in the corner in the practice. He’d say, all right, we’re doing a competition. Here we go. [00:17:00] And then they would drop before it would get hard. A pushup competition, let’s say. And then they would sit back and cheer me on. It was hard for me to listen to them and connect with them ’cause they didn’t know hard.

My coaches, my teammates, they were doing it with me. 

George Wright III: Yeah. 

Ben Kjar: As a parent, our kids will sometimes listen. They will always watch. I was just recently invited to a private mastermind where just a few people were there and they’re really high level successful people and I encourage them to do this. Guys, you’re so successful, it’s easy for you to point at your kids and say, do this. I said, when was the last time you allowed your kids to cheer you on? When was the last time you allowed your kids to hold up a poster when you’re running a marathon? And to say, let’s go daddy. But even more importantly, when was the last time you told your kids and you said, [00:18:00] let’s go.

Instead of saying, you should do this. 

George Wright III: Go do. 

Ben Kjar: Yeah, go do. When was the last time it was a let’s go thing? When was the last time it was a let’s do thing to bring it full circle. My shot callers were the people who were doing it with me. 

George Wright III:Great point. 

Ben Kjar: It was my coaches. It was my teammates. It were like, Ben, I know you want, you have this goal of being a 3XSC. Tomorrow morning at seven o’clock, I’m gonna be there.

You want to come with me? Let’s achieve together. When we’re achieving together, when we get our planners and we’re writing it down together. Those are your battle buddies, right? Yeah. Those are people in the fox hole with you. 

Daily Non-Negotiables & the Crown Code: Faith, Family, Fitness, Finance, Fun, Fulfillment

George Wright III: Yeah. That’s critical. It’s so interesting you say that because I think a lot of people, they lose track that when you struggle the most is when you need certain people and it’s just not validation and cheerleaders.

You need someone that you can, you had said you didn’t necessarily. Couldn’t take it the same way from someone that wasn’t helping you, but when [00:19:00] they were in the trenches doing it with you, it meant more to you. It meant more to you to get that kind of validation. I’m curious, kind of switching gears a little bit, your daily rituals for success.

Like what did you, you have these core principles that you’ve, you’ve these three principles that you talked about. Were there some daily things that you did that you just were kind of non-negotiables? Maybe you’d call ’em on a day-to-day basis and have they changed over time? 

Ben Kjar: Yes, they have, and I do have my non-negotiables.

It’s important to note this. I don’t do my non-negotiables the day of. I do ’em the day before. So when you open a like no joke, I open up a planner, I open up the schedule, and I’m always doing it two different times. My Sundays are my days that I planned. I open up my planner and I write down everything that happens on that week, and then the night before I reschedule and I’m like, just to verify, check in, and I do it again for the next morning.

My morning routine is the most important. When people call [00:20:00] me and I’m in my workout, and by the way, my workout’s with my wife and it’s pivotal for, for certain reasons. And where we work out, we, we don’t bring our phones with us. 

George Wright III: Mm-hmm. 

Ben Kjar: And everybody in the workout room is doing the same thing. So it’s not like I lose 20 minutes when someone comes up and says, hi, buddy, I just wanna chat with you.

Phones are away nonstop. I’m there with my wife. We experienced this cool workout together. It’s helped our relationship out. But my morning workout is a meeting, it’s not a workout 

George Wright III: really. 

Ben Kjar: When people call me and they’re like, Ben, I got a meeting or I got, I got something for you at at eight o’clock. I’m like, I got a meeting from 8:15 to 9:15.

George Wright III:Ah, yeah. 

Ben Kjar: I’m busy. 

George Wright III: Yeah. 

Ben Kjar: And I won’t have my phone with me, by the way. So call me after or schedule it before when I’ve made it a non-negotiable. It’s just that. A lot of people say it’s a non-negotiable, but it’s it’s a non, I’ll try to do it. 

George Wright III: Yeah. [00:21:00] Franklin kind of talks about putting those big rocks, you know, Stephen Covey talks the big rocks in your calendar. By doing that, it, it actually influences all the rest too, I’m sure. 

Ben Kjar: Yeah, 

George Wright III: so that’s one of ’em, that’s one of your main ones is making sure, and you do that Sunday and the night before and you make sure they’re locked in despite anything else. 

Ben Kjar: Yes, a hundred percent. Then everyone liked the rocks. We’ve all heard this before.

You have the rocks, then you put the rice around it. 

George Wright III: Yeah, 

Ben Kjar: right. Um, make the rocks, like those things are hard to move, but you gotta figure out what that is for you. Now, for me, I’ve put, I even have it right here in my shirt. I wear it so I can see it. This is called my crown code. It’s a way of living and it has six points and every single point is I set goals. Every year based upon six points. 

George Wright III: Okay. 

Ben Kjar: And that breaks down to every week, every month, every day, every hour, every minute. Every second of what we’re doing goes towards these six points. First one is faith, second one is family, third one is fitness. [00:22:00] Mental emotional fitness. Fourth is finance, fifth is fun, and last one’s fulfillment.

So every single thing is based upon this crown code way of living. And those are the most important. I strive. When I have open time or available time, I try to go to priority number one, which is my faith with my, with my family, with my, with myself, and with my deity. And then family. And then you go down the line.

George Wright III: Yeah. 

Ben Kjar: And so every time I free time, I always check what haven’t I done to do these things? And um, 

George Wright III: I like how you put fun and fulfillment in there though. That’s kind of nice. 

Ben Kjar: Yeah. You have to, 

Real Stories of Adversity: From Silver Medal Heartbreak to World Champion

John Harding: you have two, two mutual points. We would call those. And I know you do too. I mean, you just listed your principles that really.

Your build on timeless principles and your values. Um, I’m interested, you know, this movie, and I know we’re gonna talk about it, but I I’d like you to give us some stories. You, you look at you now and you, there’s a [00:23:00] guy with a movie. Uh, your story’s amazing. And you know, that goal that you wrote on your letter jacket, right, has gone, has come and gone and you’ve shared the principles, but what, what are, what’s your.

What are you calling now? What’s your, what’s your shot ahead? And you’ve had, you mentioned the time where your mom kind of rescued you by holding you. Give us an example. People may or may not have what you have, but it’s always a combination of obstacles of physical and mental, emotional, spiritual, some way facing this.

Um, how have you been able to like, use those principles you shared with us? Over and over deal with the difficulties that just come at all of us. And if you can point out, tell us a little bit about the movie, and I know we’ll get there, but give us some stories because this is so helpful. The individual [00:24:00] trying to lead your life.

It’s so relevant. But then you’re leading teams. We have people that are leading teams and if you’re not at work, you’re at home, you’re trying to make a difference. It seems like those obstacles come regardless. 

George Wright III: Yeah. And because what the people listening to the show, they’ll be teams and individuals, but we like to, we’d like to lead your life from both team and individual levels.

So those stories would be great. 

Ben Kjar: Totally. So I got done with it what I thought was achieving my dreams, becoming Utah Valley University first ever, all American. They would retire my singlet. You can see it over there. I thought I was living on top of the world. I get into parenting and I know a lot of you guys out there are just that parents, maybe even some grandparents.

George Wright III:Mm-hmm. 

Ben Kjar: And I got to that point and I had stepped off the map for 10 years. I’m sitting at my buddy’s event in Florida. His name’s Russell Brunson, and [00:25:00] he has a guy get up on stage named Ed Myla. He’s a world renowned speaker. He said something as I’m sitting in this seat that would rock my soul. He said, one of the most insidious forms of child neglect is parents not living their dream dreams and accomplishing their potential.

I had heard that and I thought, am I doing child abuse to my kids by not showing them how to reach my potential? 

George Wright III:Yeah. Yeah. 

Ben Kjar: That’s what I heard. I just got done with my kids’ first season of wrestling and I had been the dad in the corner that my kids had never seen compete. And I was the one saying, do this, do that, do, do you do, do do not let’s do. I would take my kids home after and they’d be listening to me and they’re like, dad, what do you know about wrestling? [00:26:00] I’m like, Touche. They’d never seen me. A few months later, I signed up for National Wrestling Tournament and I got on the mat first time in 10 years and my kids watched me. 

George Wright III:Wow.

Ben Kjar:  When I speak, I show this video of my kids in the corner yelling in the corner at nationals. My daughter yells, world champion, champion of the world. I had never, ever, 

George Wright III:that’s awesome. 

Ben Kjar: Thought about going to the world championships and I went, wow. I’ll sum up the story with this. I get out to Greece. My kids are three years old.

We take them international flights. I get out there, we get sick, I end up competing and I felt good. I get to the finals and everyone, all of us out there. Afraid to call our dreams because of fear of failing. 

George Wright III: Yeah. 

Ben Kjar: And I had that [00:27:00] and we all have it, but how much, how many of us allow it to just absolutely play in our lives so much to where it suffocates us? Well, I get to the finals against Azerbaijan and I’m ahead one minute left, and my kids are in the corner. Champion of the world. I’m about to be a champion of the world. I’m ahead. One minute left. I’m like, let’s go. And then the fear of failure. 

George Wright III: Oh wow. 

Ben Kjar: The fear of not 

John Harding: Even with all your experience and winning. Yep. It comes, right. It comes. 

Ben Kjar: It comes to the best. To the best it comes. And what do we do? Well, I didn’t do anything. I lost, the guy came back, beat me, and I took a picture. My wife took a picture of my son, my oldest boy, and he’s bawling as I come off the mat. ’cause he sees me disappointed. I thought he was bawling because I lost, I’d go back to the [00:28:00] apartment that night.

Terrified. I, I even waited to go back ’cause I felt I let my family down. And this is why we don’t put ourselves out there. Yeah. This is why we don’t write it down. This is why we don’t schedule it. When I went back, I came back to the apartment to this, my three kids with the silver medal on. Running around with the American flag over their shoulders.

Wow. Yelling, champion of the world. I was just lucky enough that a few days later in the in, in Greco-Roman, before it was freestyle that I had one more shot and I just made one commitment and that was it. I get to the finals again, and my commitment was that I wouldn’t stop. Now, some of us feel like goals need to become perfect.

George Wright III: Yeah. 

Ben Kjar: Before we ever go into them. Let me remind you guys that goals are so messy. Goals are so dirty. Those are goals are so unorganized, but if we just keep it down in the schedule, if [00:29:00] we just consistently go after it, somehow those crazy, messy goals become accomplished if we just commit to not stopping.

John Harding: That’s huge.

George Wright III: That’s such a great lesson. It’s interesting you say that because I’ve found over the years it’s like. We know that it’s not the events themselves, it’s our perception of the events, right? So you were thinking your kid was sad ’cause he lost, but it was really Totally. And so your perspective made the difference.

But then we also know from this lessons here that, um, it’s, it’s the decisions you make in those moments, right? To go on and, and, uh, what do you do with it? And here you have your kids running around with your silver metal and you turn it into whatever you want to turn it into, right? So. Yeah. That’s amazing. That’s awesome. 

John Harding: Well, you, you’re George, I think too, tell us if, if this isn’t what you’ve seen, Ben, your formula that you shared with us, um, matches research we’ve [00:30:00] done and others have done. Like the, even though it’s messy and even though there’s all this adversity, the benefits of articulating, writing down, involving others. Some of the research we’ve seen is only like 5% of people do it, yet the benefits are like 10 times or more. So it is just crazy that we don’t take advantage of this. And I think you’ve shown too, we see it, this interference is adversity, even opposition. I mean, you have a, you have an opponent on the mat, which is amazing.

You’ve got physical and mental going on, but all your preparation each day you had an opponent like, I can’t do it. I won’t do it. Um, I just think you’re a great example of, hey, guess what? You’re gonna have all that. It is messy, but the benefits of your three formulas that match, you know, setting your [00:31:00] values, setting long-term goals, reviewing it weekly, reviewing it daily are phenomenal it seems. And you’re great. You’re a great example. Is that. Is this story you told, is it in the, is it in the movie? 

Ben Kjar: Part of it is, it’s hard to fit 42 years, right? 99 minutes. 

The Movie Standout – Releasing January 23, 2026: How to Support & Spread the Message

George Wright III: Let’s talk about the movie, ’cause it’s gonna be launching here in the a few minutes we have left here. The movie is gonna be coming out January 23rd.

Never something you would’ve expected to have happen. 

Ben Kjar:No. 

George Wright III: But, well, here we are now, and we’re actually, this episode will probably be released right before that. So tell us what you hope to have this movie do in the marketplace right now. What, what’s your goal? 

Ben Kjar: Man, it’s easy to put like a, a certain amount of theaters.

It’s easy to put that. Um, I, I’ve, I’ve come down to this. I’ll say one thing. I sat down with TC Christiansen, who’s been an icon, and producers and directors in Utah, and I told him right off the bat, I sat him down. I think it [00:32:00] shocked him a little bit. Yeah, I said, TC, my goal is to break all your records with this film.

It started out really early on, we’d never been to any film festival. 

John Harding: That was your 3X on your, 

Ben Kjar: That was my 3X. He just kind chuckled. He’s like shot, what an arrogant little kid. Right. And Tanner, his boy, the director, and he’s on the film as a producer and he is just, they’re both icons and um, I have some big goals, but beyond that, here’s the goal that really excites me. I, uh. There’s little Bens out there in the world, and the easy ones to spot are the ones with facial differences, the most dangerous ones that we don’t see, either the ones that are internal. 

George Wright III: Mm. 

Ben Kjar: And those are the kids that will be able to impact along with the facial difference. But there are a lot of Bens out there that when they see this film.

That, uh, are gonna be impacted. There’s a film [00:33:00] growing up that I saw called Tyler, a Real Hero. It’s about a guy named Tyler Wilkinson. I had a rare opportunity to call him up as we were going down to St. George for one of our film festivals. I said, Tyler, I, I know you’re in a wheelchair. I saw your film and I watched it countless times growing up.

You have no idea who I am, but it changed my life. Now I have a film coming out. About my life. Would you please be my honored guest? As he sat on the front row with in his wheelchair, I shared my film with him, and I want to be in front of as many little Bens as I can, just as the little Ben was watching Tyler’s film, because I know, not just from my own experience, but I’ve seen what has done for people and what they’ve said. Um, I’m really excited for what we’ve done. I’ve got the best directors, like [00:34:00] some of the best in the entire world on my team, and I’m just honored to share it with the world. 

George Wright III: Well, in the message. The message, I mean, overcoming adversity and triumph and entertainment, and it’s a great message for anybody watching it. But I think one of the points that you make that’s important is there’s so many people out there that need that message that not only would somebody wanna go see the movie for themselves. But to share that message. It sounded like when we talked before, not only do you wanna have a powerful message come from the movie, but you want that message to get out. You want that message to be shared, because at the end of the day, this is what’s gonna make impact on the world. It’s gonna change. And so whether you are an individual or a, you know, a leader, a family, a, a mother, father, grandfather, grandkid, teenager, there are messages that can help. What can we do to support that? Like what can our listeners do in order to help support, get the message out?  

Ben Kjar: Thanks for asking. We have two big, major, uh, goals that we have. Number one on January 23rd, it’s easy to remember. 1, 2, 3, Standout. [00:35:00] January 23rd, 2026. We’re coming to theaters and we’ll start in about 80 theaters all over Utah and then Idaho, Arizona, and some other areas and theaters will test us. Based upon how many seats we fill that first weekend, January 23rd and 24th. Okay. And depending on how we perform of people showing up, they’ll be willing to take it into other markets. 

George Wright III: Got it. 

Ben Kjar: That is all dependent on our budget too, right? Mm-hmm. And we have a budget just big enough to go into these certain markets. But we also have someone, a plastic surgeon, who came to us and said, Ben, we have looked for something like this to help. Our people, our friends, and our family, and we just found it in your film. 

George Wright III: Wow. 

Ben Kjar: Utah Smiles. It’s a 501 C3 nonprofit organization. Ran by Devin Reiner. Phenomenal surgeon. He said, I will.

Anybody who wants to donate to your guys’ movie [00:36:00] in a hundred percent of the pennies and dollars that’s donated, will go towards us putting it in screens across the country. 

George Wright III:Wow. 

Ben Kjar: He said, I will allow it to come into my 501 C3 ’cause we don’t have one. And he said, I’ll put every, I’ll earmark every penny to go towards your guys’ message being spread out.

So those two things. Number one, get to the film on January, the theaters on January 23rd, January 24th. And number two, if you have the wherewithal to donate. If you have that blessing to be able to give money and not give it to Uncle Sam and have a tax deduction, a hundred percent, you know, it’s gonna go to the 501 C3. Um, that would just mean the world and that would help us change other people’s lives 

George Wright III: and share the message. Yeah. Well, we can put some links in the show notes as well. Yeah. Well, um, you have any final thoughts here before we go? 

John Harding: I, I do. I want to just compliment you for being here and. Everything you’ve done, you referring to [00:37:00] Centerville Junior High?

Ben Kjar: Yeah, that’s where I’m from. 

John Harding: So I’m a Mill Creek Mustang, just across the way. Just let’s give a shout out to the high school. Where did you go to high school? 

Ben Kjar: Viewmont Vikings. 

John Harding: Okay. So you’re Viking. Always a brave. 

Ben Kjar: Yeah, of course. 

John Harding: But let me say this. Tell us, let me ask him. George, tell us about the title and, and as you do, I feel like, uh, as we’ve researched and invited you here, this is a message for everyone. From the youngest to the oldest, and then those with these special challenges, physical, mental, this is, as we’ve researched, aging in different stages of your life. You, the ability you have to really think with so much faith about your future, call your shots. Set goals is also the key to mental health when you’re aging.

Ben Kjar: Mm-hmm. 

Final Advice: Stop Trying to Be Version 2.0 – Be You and Stand Out

John Harding: And so as, as people that are retired or aging or. You have grandkids. So I, what I hope people will do will, [00:38:00] you know, understand this, see it, share it, share it with everyone, social media, donate. But tell us about the title and then, uh, what advice do you have if you were to say, you know, what, who, whoever you are trying to lead your life, what advice do you have about how they should see themselves and maybe something they could do to create their best life? Uh, just sort of as, as we wrap up. Yeah. 

Ben Kjar: Yeah. I love that. Number one, I’ll, I’ll hit on the ability to, uh, show up as your best self. I’ll make it super clear and I won’t miss words. You will not live your best version of you if you are trying to be somebody else’s version 2.0.

It’s so, so seen today. 

George Wright III: Yeah. 

Ben Kjar: It’s way more popular than it should be to be the person with this car, to be the person dressed like this or this house on this side of the train tracks. If I could just be like them, life would be [00:39:00] easier if I could just do this. Life would be that. What if you actually understood that you were created to be you? It wasn’t till I realized that really Crouzon syndrome wasn’t a curse. 

George Wright III: Yeah. 

Ben Kjar: It was a gift. It was a blessing. The empathy that I have because of it has completely changed me and others. And so when you buy into you, when you buy that God created you to be you, the the Ben Kjar, not the Johnny Johnson, then you start flexing you. In the best way when you are comfortable inside your skin. You show up more relaxed, you show up with more passion, drive, vigor, purpose, that’s different. And then when that happens, the emotional obstacles are way less. 

George Wright III: Yeah. 

Ben Kjar: Secondly, if you’re a grandmother, a grandfather, or a [00:40:00] father, a brother, whatever you are, I have learned with having three kids that are all adopted within 13 months, extremely quickly. The first one within 15 hours, I was all of a sudden a dad. I learned really quick that my kids are gonna watch. They’ll sometimes listen, and then I also learned how I live is literally the default to what they think is their reality. That was the freakiest thing, but also a very cool thing because if I can set the standard of how dad sees himself, then that’s what I do.

If I can set the standard of, no, this is how the Kjar’s live, this is how we show up, we accomplish, we do, we give, they think that’s normal. What is your normal? What are the standards you’re setting in your own family? 

George Wright III: I love that 

Ben Kjar: with [00:41:00] faith, family, fitness, finance, fun, fulfillment. If we’re playing at 70% of what we’re supposed to be. We’re lucky if our kids are gonna play at 70%. 

George Wright III: Yeah. 

Ben Kjar: Because that’s like what they think is peak. That is such a cool thing to think about and scary. 

John Harding: And any, anybody can do this. 

Ben Kjar: Anybody, 

John Harding: right? You, you have control over this. I think that you’ve heard that and what you’ve said. You can stand out for you. So give us, what about standout?

Ben Kjar: You can control perspective. You can control input, right? Standout came about. When I got annihilated in the grocery store, and it’s like one of the most iconic parts of the film, I go home and I try to figure out the way to take off my face, and my mom breaks in and she stands me up to the mirror and she says, Ben, you’re born to make a difference.

That’s why you’re different. Everybody is gonna beg for attention. Nowadays, we see it on [00:42:00] social media. You don’t have to do that, Ben. You’re gonna get attention anyway. And I’ve seen you when you had that attention. You’ve hid, you’ve hid your light behind the bushel, per se, in the biblical sense. Ben, you ain’t born for that.

Get out from behind the bushel and stand out when we choose to live us. The Ben Kjar version 1.0. We can shine our natural, organic, genuine light. People nowadays more than ever see through the bs. 

George Wright III: Yeah, 

Ben Kjar: A fake. When we can be genuine and passionate and confident in who we are, man, you just, you just attract some pretty cool things in your life and you’ll be sent to other people that need you. That’s when life starts. 

George Wright III: That movie title is so great because it’s not just, you would [00:43:00] think from looking at the poster that it’s your pinnacle standout champion, but it was almost a manifesto for you that your mom gave you when you were young. And so having that ability to stand out, be you, like you said, be your best version, not someone else’s 2.0.

That’s amazing. Thank you for being here with us. 

Ben Kjar: Yeah. 

George Wright III: This has been amazing. I appreciate you and listen, if you’re listening to this, remember 1, 2, 3, January 23rd, Standout. Go check it out in theaters and, uh, you know, we, we just want you to remember that it is never too late to start living that life that you’re meant to live.And when you take charge and do the things that Ben talked about, it’s gonna make a big difference for you in your life. Thank you. We’ll talk to you soon.

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About Guest: Ben Kjar

Ben Kjar was born with Crouzons syndrome (a craniofacial anomaly), and as a young boy the doctors told him that he would live a different life…..and that’s exactly what he’s done! He has risen above any of life’s challenges and become a Victor not a victim. Ben is Utah Valley University’s first-ever NCAA Division 1 Wrestling All-American and has represented the USA team internationally. Ben is an international professional speaker and has told his story to millions around the globe, in front of crowds of up to 10,000 people!

Guest Resources:

• Website: https://www.benkjar.com/
• Instagram: @benkjar
• Facebook: Ben Kjar
• X (formerly Twitter): @benkjar
• LinkedIn: Ben Kjar
• Film Website: https://standoutfilm.com/